I absolutely love what you have captured here. I love how the ghost pipe is accompanying you and how, through you, it is making itself known to us. A song-maker! What could be more beneficial to its ecosystem than a being who gives beauty and mystery and the opportunity for tenderness. Good company.
Thank you so much for all your support Rina. It’s really deeply appreciated - especially right now as each day feels like an obstacle course ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
As a retired R.N. who volunteered during nursing school for helping at a hospice house, I remember the day we started clinicals by helping with the birth of a baby. It was such a sacred time as we welcomed the helpless newborn into the world! That evening I held the hand of a man without family as he took his last breath. Both experiences were sacred to me. Love was a mutual bond that united us all. We ALL arrive vulnerable and helpless and will leave in that same condition. We all GAIN from the unconditional love given and received regardless of the circumstances anyone is in. I’m grateful for your writing and willingness to share your experiences in such thoughtful and vulnerable ways. You have given us all such valuable insights and your love of writing shines! But you are worthy of love if you never write another word or can do anything for yourself other than BE. Being is enough for everyone. We are all enough.
One of my favorite mycologist friends, Willoughby Arevalo, was leading a walk in Vermont last August and when we found Ghost Pipe, he asked us to rethink the notion of parasitism. “What if what’s being given back to the fungus is love?” 🧡
As I read this, tears stream down my cheeks, fogging my glasses. I can see you, and your mom bathing you when you should have been at the prom. And your mom smiling and taking pictures of you, adorned with flowers. I’m a mom and my heart knows. Ghost Pipe is so magical. The pain it helps with is so deep. Past life deep. Soul deep. And you can see it/feel the magic when you’re in Ghost Pipe’s presence. My sister, in a coma and “awakening”, once her spirit was in her body, when the doctors noted she was “out” of the coma, she was there, in her body, trapped and it was so hard for her to come back. You are a gift to the world, Sophie. You are nourished and held here by forces that defy logic and are totally Love.
Loved this essay and inquiry into Ghost Pipe and biological relationships. I too know what it’s like to have had and still have to at times rely on others to survive a debilitating illness. I also find myself often questioning the nature of humanity, of relationships, and I’ve often found myself cynical - believing that humans are primarily self centered and that true altruism doesn’t exist, and that instead they’re consciously and/or unconsciously computing whether I’m worth continuing a relationship with as soon as my health crashes and I’m no longer as much fun to be around, or as able to do things. I’ve watched so many people come and go, they come when I’m well and go when I’m not well.
However, there’s always a few people that stick around, and new relationships are vetted by a deeper soul connection I feel rather than superficial pleasure primarily. And indeed what if needing increased support is not parasitic? What if needing increased care, love, empathy, and compassion is actually doing a service to others not taking from them? It allows others to tap fully into their “higher self” so to speak, their souls essence, and it asks of them to open their hearts and to be the best version of themselves - to give unconditional love without asking anything in return.
And truly they don’t need to, since what they receive is deeper connection to their humanity, a more open heart and ability to be with pain, and the nurturing for the sick and vulnerable in the external translates also to an increase in nurturing for themselves. Their ability to sit with the pain in others and hold space without needing to fix it is a skill and a gift they get to develop, for themselves as well, and for all of humanity. The transjective in Metamodern philosophy, the interior/exterior interpenetrating nature of reality.
I wrote recently about how if humans could learn to find pleasure in this process, and it’s rewards, they’d be incentivized to do it more often and the world would be a better place. It requires a deepening and maturing of one’s being to recognize the value in it. Everyone wants to party, but very few want to hold the hand of someone unwell. I’d argue the latter is infinitely more rewarding.
I really love this post. It has been flickering in the back of my mind since I read it a few days ago, and I think I subscribed to your page right after reading it. I came to your substack bc someone recommended the flowering wand to me. Those essays are brilliantly written and immensely creative and real. I am curious to hear what you might to have to say in response to something. For me, a sense of difference amidst profound admiration is something very exciting. In this essay, I was particularly dazzled by this moment, "My totally unsubstantiated feeling is that we are looking at mycoheterotrophs on a human scale. Evolution, although seemingly fixed from our perspective, is an ongoing process. We can’t possibly see the full narrative of Ghost Pipe and her mycorrhizal fungi." I am curious what your reaction would be if I said that at times your writing reflects a view of humanity from within a human time scale. We are no doubt a parasite. Men in particular have been acting as the parasite and woman have gotten lumped in with the rest of nature. It occurred to me this morning, reading Flowering Wand, with this growing sense of having a a different opinion, that the ghost pipe is getting short thrift from a tonal stand point. "My deep intuition is that there is something invisible, and as of yet undocumented, happening between these two beings." Perhaps there is something happening between humanity at large (in this long age of wickedness) and the earth. It may look like oppression and murder, but does the ghost pipe hint at something different, something truly outside this cultural mind space of 2024? What about the neediness of 'bad people' people who harm others, who harm the earth, those who support policies that keep us on track for more ecocide and less bodily freedom? They are no doubt submerged in age old sickness. How are they part of this story you tell in your writing? Are they just the poor fools who enact the patriarchy and evil, the villains? Anyways, if these questions resonate for you at all I would love to know how so!
“I survive because I am related to other beings.” Sophie- your gift of knowing this SO intimately gives all of us a peak into what we all must come to know as our futures unfold. It’s what all the rest of the beings (especially the flowers for me) know and we humans have forgotten. Thank you for being a trail blazer. ❤️❤️
“I’m beginning to soften into all those moments when I had to surrender in order to survive.” - Thank you dear Sophie ♥️
Thank you for sharing your intimate encounter with the Ghost Pipe and for decompose our egocentric view again and again and again…..Thank you for loving so deeply ♥️♥️♥️♥️
As is often the case, Sophie, your words filter quickly down through my intellect and fathom the languageless depths of my slow, limited body - bringing with them love, encouragement and nourishment. The deep intuitions you put into words, using illustrations from the worlds of other beings, are a life-bringing thread for me, and clearly for so many of us dwelling in bodies that are diminished by the societal context we live in. These intuitions surely arrive *because of* the shape you are in. So you have my heartfelt gratitude for giving your all to inhabiting that shape; and for continually expanding it into the connectedness we hold with all other beings, both within and without the borders of our skin. Thank you. Sending you warmest wishes for all the energies you desire, and all the being held you deserve 💚🐾🍄
Your writing is a wondrous gift to us all. Thank you so much for being you. I would like to send you love through the invisible ether for your nourishment.
I absolutely love what you have captured here. I love how the ghost pipe is accompanying you and how, through you, it is making itself known to us. A song-maker! What could be more beneficial to its ecosystem than a being who gives beauty and mystery and the opportunity for tenderness. Good company.
☺️🕊️🕯️
Always amazed at your ability to nourish us, Sophie, even as you are struggling physically.
Thank you so much for all your support Rina. It’s really deeply appreciated - especially right now as each day feels like an obstacle course ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
As a retired R.N. who volunteered during nursing school for helping at a hospice house, I remember the day we started clinicals by helping with the birth of a baby. It was such a sacred time as we welcomed the helpless newborn into the world! That evening I held the hand of a man without family as he took his last breath. Both experiences were sacred to me. Love was a mutual bond that united us all. We ALL arrive vulnerable and helpless and will leave in that same condition. We all GAIN from the unconditional love given and received regardless of the circumstances anyone is in. I’m grateful for your writing and willingness to share your experiences in such thoughtful and vulnerable ways. You have given us all such valuable insights and your love of writing shines! But you are worthy of love if you never write another word or can do anything for yourself other than BE. Being is enough for everyone. We are all enough.
One of my favorite mycologist friends, Willoughby Arevalo, was leading a walk in Vermont last August and when we found Ghost Pipe, he asked us to rethink the notion of parasitism. “What if what’s being given back to the fungus is love?” 🧡
So good to live in the same forest, and that our mycelia allow us to belong here together.
💜🍄
Beautifully conceived. I look forward to the book.
Thank you Nicole!
As I read this, tears stream down my cheeks, fogging my glasses. I can see you, and your mom bathing you when you should have been at the prom. And your mom smiling and taking pictures of you, adorned with flowers. I’m a mom and my heart knows. Ghost Pipe is so magical. The pain it helps with is so deep. Past life deep. Soul deep. And you can see it/feel the magic when you’re in Ghost Pipe’s presence. My sister, in a coma and “awakening”, once her spirit was in her body, when the doctors noted she was “out” of the coma, she was there, in her body, trapped and it was so hard for her to come back. You are a gift to the world, Sophie. You are nourished and held here by forces that defy logic and are totally Love.
We hold one another. There is no measure for that.
You are loved.
Loved this essay and inquiry into Ghost Pipe and biological relationships. I too know what it’s like to have had and still have to at times rely on others to survive a debilitating illness. I also find myself often questioning the nature of humanity, of relationships, and I’ve often found myself cynical - believing that humans are primarily self centered and that true altruism doesn’t exist, and that instead they’re consciously and/or unconsciously computing whether I’m worth continuing a relationship with as soon as my health crashes and I’m no longer as much fun to be around, or as able to do things. I’ve watched so many people come and go, they come when I’m well and go when I’m not well.
However, there’s always a few people that stick around, and new relationships are vetted by a deeper soul connection I feel rather than superficial pleasure primarily. And indeed what if needing increased support is not parasitic? What if needing increased care, love, empathy, and compassion is actually doing a service to others not taking from them? It allows others to tap fully into their “higher self” so to speak, their souls essence, and it asks of them to open their hearts and to be the best version of themselves - to give unconditional love without asking anything in return.
And truly they don’t need to, since what they receive is deeper connection to their humanity, a more open heart and ability to be with pain, and the nurturing for the sick and vulnerable in the external translates also to an increase in nurturing for themselves. Their ability to sit with the pain in others and hold space without needing to fix it is a skill and a gift they get to develop, for themselves as well, and for all of humanity. The transjective in Metamodern philosophy, the interior/exterior interpenetrating nature of reality.
I wrote recently about how if humans could learn to find pleasure in this process, and it’s rewards, they’d be incentivized to do it more often and the world would be a better place. It requires a deepening and maturing of one’s being to recognize the value in it. Everyone wants to party, but very few want to hold the hand of someone unwell. I’d argue the latter is infinitely more rewarding.
I really love this post. It has been flickering in the back of my mind since I read it a few days ago, and I think I subscribed to your page right after reading it. I came to your substack bc someone recommended the flowering wand to me. Those essays are brilliantly written and immensely creative and real. I am curious to hear what you might to have to say in response to something. For me, a sense of difference amidst profound admiration is something very exciting. In this essay, I was particularly dazzled by this moment, "My totally unsubstantiated feeling is that we are looking at mycoheterotrophs on a human scale. Evolution, although seemingly fixed from our perspective, is an ongoing process. We can’t possibly see the full narrative of Ghost Pipe and her mycorrhizal fungi." I am curious what your reaction would be if I said that at times your writing reflects a view of humanity from within a human time scale. We are no doubt a parasite. Men in particular have been acting as the parasite and woman have gotten lumped in with the rest of nature. It occurred to me this morning, reading Flowering Wand, with this growing sense of having a a different opinion, that the ghost pipe is getting short thrift from a tonal stand point. "My deep intuition is that there is something invisible, and as of yet undocumented, happening between these two beings." Perhaps there is something happening between humanity at large (in this long age of wickedness) and the earth. It may look like oppression and murder, but does the ghost pipe hint at something different, something truly outside this cultural mind space of 2024? What about the neediness of 'bad people' people who harm others, who harm the earth, those who support policies that keep us on track for more ecocide and less bodily freedom? They are no doubt submerged in age old sickness. How are they part of this story you tell in your writing? Are they just the poor fools who enact the patriarchy and evil, the villains? Anyways, if these questions resonate for you at all I would love to know how so!
The one who nourishes so many has stimulated a vast, beautiful network need harbour no doubt that they have contributed much depth to our souls.
I appreciate your afire-ness.
The land here abounds with ghost pipe and russulas.
When we get really lucky, we find one or two that have been transformed into a lobster mushroom.
The delightful parasitic gifts never end.
Wishing you all the best.
“I survive because I am related to other beings.” Sophie- your gift of knowing this SO intimately gives all of us a peak into what we all must come to know as our futures unfold. It’s what all the rest of the beings (especially the flowers for me) know and we humans have forgotten. Thank you for being a trail blazer. ❤️❤️
“I’m beginning to soften into all those moments when I had to surrender in order to survive.” - Thank you dear Sophie ♥️
Thank you for sharing your intimate encounter with the Ghost Pipe and for decompose our egocentric view again and again and again…..Thank you for loving so deeply ♥️♥️♥️♥️
As is often the case, Sophie, your words filter quickly down through my intellect and fathom the languageless depths of my slow, limited body - bringing with them love, encouragement and nourishment. The deep intuitions you put into words, using illustrations from the worlds of other beings, are a life-bringing thread for me, and clearly for so many of us dwelling in bodies that are diminished by the societal context we live in. These intuitions surely arrive *because of* the shape you are in. So you have my heartfelt gratitude for giving your all to inhabiting that shape; and for continually expanding it into the connectedness we hold with all other beings, both within and without the borders of our skin. Thank you. Sending you warmest wishes for all the energies you desire, and all the being held you deserve 💚🐾🍄
Your writing is a wondrous gift to us all. Thank you so much for being you. I would like to send you love through the invisible ether for your nourishment.